The Heart of the Home

The Quiet Power of the “Kitchen Table Effect” in Elderly and Dementia Care

At the heart of every home is the kitchen — and within a life well lived, it holds something even deeper: belonging. It is where stories are shared, routines are formed and comfort quietly settles in. In elderly care, and particularly in dementia care, this familiarity is not decorative. It is essential.

As people age, the world can narrow — physically, socially and emotionally. For those living with dementia, this narrowing is often compounded by confusion, disorientation and loss of continuity. In both elderly care and dementia care, the challenge is not simply to provide safety and support, but to preserve identity, dignity and a sense of home within the care environment.

At Windlesham Manor, communal dining rooted in home-cooked food is not viewed as an amenity, but as a cornerstone of care. The scent of food slowly cooking, the familiar sounds of a working kitchen, the shared anticipation of a meal — these sensory experiences cut through cognitive decline and speak directly to emotional memory. They ground residents in the present moment, offering reassurance without the need for explanation.

The sensory spark - people living with dementia often lose some sense of smell and taste, so they may add extra sugar or salt to make food more flavourful. Strong, familiar food aromas like fish, fresh bread, coffee, and curries help residents recognise routines, lift their mood, and encourage good eating, while a small glass of sherry before the meal can further stimulate appetite.

This shared ritual does far more than meet nutritional needs. It restores dignity through participation. Sitting together at a table, serving from shared dishes, and engaging in familiar routines returns a sense of home often lost in institutional settings. In both elderly and dementia care, these regular moments of togetherness create a steady rhythm to the day — one that reduces agitation, eases anxiety and replaces uncertainty with the comfort of predictability.

In this environment, food becomes more than sustenance. It becomes a catalyst for connection, a prompt for conversation and a bridge to personal history. The table itself becomes a social anchor — a place where residents are not defined by age, condition or diagnosis, but by shared presence and belonging.

Residents are involved in food and treat-related tasks, such as laying the tables or stirring a cake mix, so that they feel involved and have a sense of purpose

The case for home-cooked meals and communal dining in elderly and dementia care is not a nostalgic one. It is practical, evidence-informed and deeply human. Through this approach we see tangible outcomes: reduced risk of malnutrition, improved engagement and a meaningful uplift in quality of life. More importantly, we see care settings shift — from places of routine management to places of living.

It is challenging to meet all residents’ nutritional needs, as many of them have specific requirements and preferences and, sadly, often a poor appetite. This is where the real challenge lies, and where other attributes—such as making the food look attractive—help to trigger their appetite and ensure they enjoy their food. The best evidence of this is when empty plates are returned to the kitchen, confirming that they have enjoyed their meal.

As an older person, you need significantly more protein to maintain your muscle mass and prevent sarcopenia, which is an age‑related loss of muscle mass, strength, and function that increases the risk of falls, frailty, and loss of independence. Providing good food is not only important to stimulate the senses, but also to ensure physical wellbeing is maintained and to help prevent falls, which can significantly change a frail person’s quality of life.

In elderly care and dementia care alike, the most powerful interventions are not always clinical. Sometimes, they arrive quietly — carried by the aroma of a familiar meal, shared around a table, and rooted in the enduring human need to gather, to connect, and to feel at home.

Families are always welcome to join our meals so they can feel part of Windlesham Manor and enjoy a sense of normality in their relationship with their loved ones. Sitting down to enjoy a meal together is a well‑embedded routine for all of us, and it brings a bit of normality to the day, allowing the family to relive times when table manners were discussed around the table.

Sundowning is often triggered by exhaustion, as the person living with dementia has spent most of the day trying to keep a brave face despite feeling disorientated and confused. At the end of the day, when it gets darker, their energy levels have dropped to the point where they are no longer able to maintain that brave face. This is where the dining routine becomes a fundamental part of the day—a time when you can be yourself, as sitting down and enjoying a meal is a core need that tends to stay with us regardless.